Equanimous Mind Works
Couples Counselling
Couples counselling provides a safe and neutral space for partners to work through challenges, rebuild trust and strengthen connection. It's designed to help both partners feel heard, understood and supported as they navigate difficulties together.
Grow Together with Support & Understanding
Relationships are one of the most meaningful parts of our lives - and also one of the most complex. Even the strongest partnerships can face challenges that feel overwhelming at times. Couples counselling provides a safe, neutral space where both partners can feel heard, understood and supported as you navigate difficulties together.
Whether you’re experiencing frequent conflict, feeling emotionally distant, or working through a major life transition, counselling can help you rebuild trust, strengthen connection, and create healthier patterns of relating.
Common Challenges Couples Face
Recurring arguments or unresolved conflict
Loss of intimacy or emotional closeness
Feeling unappreciated, unseen or disconnected
Trust issues, infidelity or broken agreements
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Stress from major life changes or transitions
These struggles are more common than you might think - and they don’t have to mean the end of your relationship. With the right support, they can become opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
Through counselling, couples often experience:
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Improved communication and deeper understanding
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Rebuilding of trust and repair of emotional bonds
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Strengthened intimacy and closeness
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Healthier ways of navigating conflict
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Greater clarity and compassion in decision-making
You don’t need to have everything figured out before coming to counselling. What matters most is a shared willingness to explore, reconnect and grow together. Counselling can also be done together, or separately.
The Benefits of Couples Counselling
My Approach with Couples
As an ACA-registered counsellor, I bring a compassionate, evidence-based approach to relationship work. My practice is informed by:
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Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Level 2 Training): A research-based framework focused on emotional connection, communication, and conflict management.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): An attachment-based model that helps couples identify negative cycles and create new patterns of emotional bonding.
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Presence-Oriented Relationship Therapy: Supporting couples to build trust and navigate change with presence and compassion.
These approaches allow me to tailor sessions to your unique needs - whether you’re preparing for marriage, working through recurring conflict, or navigating separation with care.
The Gottman Method: A Research-Based Approach
One of the main approaches I draw on in couples counselling is the Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This framework is grounded in over 40 years of research with thousands of couples, making it one of the most evidence‑based approaches to relationship therapy available today.
The Gottmans’ research showed that the quality of a couple’s interactions - especially during conflict - is one of the strongest predictors of relationship satisfaction and longevity.
They identified four communication patterns that are particularly damaging, which they called the “Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse”:
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Criticism – attacking your partner’s character rather than addressing a behaviour
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Defensiveness – meeting complaints with counter‑complaints or denial of responsibility
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Contempt – sarcasm, eye‑rolling or speaking with superiority (the strongest predictor of relationship breakdown)
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Stonewalling – shutting down or withdrawing when overwhelmed
While these patterns can erode trust and connection, the Gottmans also discovered that each has a clear antidote. By learning to use gentle start‑ups, take responsibility, express feelings and needs and practice self‑soothing when overwhelmed, couples can transform conflict into opportunities for deeper understanding and closeness.
In our sessions, I’ll help you and your partner:
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Recognise when the Four Horsemen are showing up in your communication
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Learn and practice the antidotes in real time
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Build new habits that strengthen trust, intimacy and emotional safety
The beauty of the Gottman Method is that it’s not about perfection - it’s about awareness, practice and small, consistent changes that make a big difference over time.
How Sessions Work
At Equanimous Mind Works, Gottman Method therapy begins with a clear structure designed to understand your relationship deeply before moving into change. I begin with a structured assessment process that helps me understand the full picture of your relationship - what’s working well, what feels stuck and what’s underneath the struggles. My role is not to judge, but to listen and help you both feel seen.
1. INITIAL SESSIONS
Here’s how we’ll start together:
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Initial first joint session (60 minutes): I’ll meet with you both to hear your story and what brought you in.
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Questionnaires: After that session, I’ll ask each of you to complete a series of research-based questionnaires. These give us a scientifically grounded view of your relationship dynamics.
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Individual sessions (60 minutes each): I’ll then meet with each of you one-on-one. This gives you space to share openly about your experiences, feelings and concerns.
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Feedback session (60 minutes): Once I’ve gathered all the information, we’ll meet together again. I’ll share what I’ve learned - your strengths, areas for growth and the patterns that may be keeping you stuck. Together, we’ll create a clear plan for your therapy journey.
Why I Start This Way
Decades of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman show that couples who thrive aren’t those who never fight, but those who stay emotionally connected, repair after conflict, and keep turning toward each other even when life gets hard.
This assessment phase helps me answer questions like:
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How do you respond to conflict?
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How emotionally connected do you feel?
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What’s your friendship like beneath the stress?
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Are there patterns that keep repeating in your fights?
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Where do trust and commitment stand right now?
I’m not here to label or shame you. I’m here to help you see your relationship with clarity and to help both of you feel understood.
You’ll Leave With a Plan - Not Just a Vague Hope
At the end of these initial sessions, I’ll provide a personalised treatment plan. This will include:
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Your relationship’s strengths - so you know what to lean on.
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Your challenges - so you can name what’s hard with compassion.
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Specific goals - aligned with the Gottman Sound Relationship House framework.
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A roadmap for sessions - so you know what’s coming and why it matters.
A Roadmap Toward Real Change
It’s one thing to want a better relationship. It’s another to know how to build it. The Gottman Method is more than just conversation - it’s a roadmap. And the first few sessions are where we draw that map together.
2. FROM ASSESSMENT TO ACTION
After the assessment phase, we’ll move into the heart of the work with weekly 90‑minute joint sessions. This intensive stage helps you build momentum, learn new skills and begin shifting patterns more effectively.
Themes We’ll Explore Together
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Understanding and addressing the Four Horsemen of conflict
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Deepening emotional intimacy and friendship
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Creating rituals of connection and shared meaning
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Building trust, especially after betrayal or disconnection
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Supporting one another’s dreams and personal growth
Each session builds on the last, helping you strengthen not only your communication, but your emotional bond.
3. MAINTENANCE PHASE
As progress is made, we’ll gradually space sessions out to:
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Fortnightly
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Monthly
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Maintenance check-ins every 6 months
Research shows that couples who continue with maintenance sessions are far less likely to relapse into old patterns. These ongoing check-ins provide a supportive space to keep your relationship strong and resilient over time.
Whether you’re looking to heal, reconnect or simply invest in the future of your relationship, I’m here to walk alongside you.
In-Person Sessions
Couples counselling sessions are available in person in Coomera on the Gold Coast.
A Space for Growth, Not Perfection
Couples counselling isn’t about blame or deciding who’s “right” - it’s about creating a safe space where both partners can feel understood and supported. Together, we’ll work on building healthier patterns, strengthening your bond and moving toward the kind of relationship you both want.
If you’re ready to take the first step, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you on this journey.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is couples counselling?
Couples counselling is a supportive, neutral space where partners can explore challenges, improve communication and strengthen their connection. It’s not about assigning blame, it’s about understanding each other’s needs and building healthier ways of relating. For a deeper understanding, read our article on What Is Relationship Counselling.
How do I know if we need couples counselling?
Couples often seek counselling when they’re feeling disconnected, stuck in recurring conflict or unsure how to move forward. Some signs it may help include:
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Frequent arguments or difficulty resolving conflict
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Feeling distant, unheard or unappreciated
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Trust issues or emotional disconnection
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Struggles during major life changes
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Difficulty communicating feelings or needs
You don’t need to be in crisis - counselling is beneficial at any stage of a relationship. For more information, read our article on "Signs Your Relationship Needs Help".
What happens during a couples counselling session?
Sessions typically involve guided conversations where both partners can safely share their experiences, emotions and concerns. Using evidence-based approaches such as the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll explore patterns, learn new communication tools and practice skills that strengthen your connection.
What if my partner doesn’t want to attend?
This is very common. Counselling can still be helpful even if only one partner is ready to attend. Individual relationship counselling sessions can help you gain clarity, improve communication skills and understand your relationship patterns, shifts in one partner often create shifts in the relationship.
Is couples counselling only for relationships in crisis?
Not at all. Many couples come to counselling to strengthen their relationship, prepare for marriage, deepen emotional intimacy or prevent small issues from becoming bigger ones. It’s a proactive, supportive investment in your partnership.
What types of issues can couples counselling help with?
Some of the most common concerns include:
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Recurring arguments
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Emotional distance or loss of intimacy
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Betrayal or trust issues
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Parenting or blended family challenges
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Stress from major life transitions
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Communication breakdowns
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Difficult decision-making around the future
What approach do you use in couples counselling?
My work is grounded in the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Presence-Oriented Relationship Therapy. These frameworks help couples understand negative interaction cycles, build emotional safety, and develop new patterns of communication and connection.
What are the Gottman “Four Horsemen,” and will we learn about them?
Yes, many couples find this part of counselling especially helpful. The Four Horsemen of relationship conflict are communication patterns shown to predict relationship breakdown: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. In therapy, you’ll learn how to recognise these patterns and practise their antidotes to create healthier, more supportive interactions.
What if we argue during the session?
It’s normal for emotions to surface. Sessions are carefully guided to ensure both partners feel safe and heard. Moments of conflict can be powerful opportunities to practise new skills in real time.
How long are the sessions, and how often do we meet?
Couples begin with weekly 90-minute sessions to build momentum and create meaningful change. As progress develops, sessions move to fortnightly, then monthly and eventually to 6-monthly maintenance check-ins to help keep your relationship strong.
Do you offer online or in-person sessions?
All couples counselling sessions are currently offered in-person on the Gold Coast in Coomera.
What if we decide to separate? Can counselling still help?
Yes. Couples counselling isn’t only for staying together. It can support:
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Conscious, compassionate separation
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Reducing conflict and tension
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Coparenting with respect and clarity
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Navigating emotional transitions
The focus is on creating the healthiest path forward for both partners.
Do you work with LGBTQIA+ couples?
Yes. Equanimous Mind Works is an inclusive, affirming practice that welcomes couples of all genders, sexual orientations and relationship structures.
How do we prepare for our first session?
You don’t need to prepare anything. Simply bring your willingness to be open and curious. If helpful, you may reflect beforehand on:
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What you hope to gain from counselling
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Any key concerns you want to discuss
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Times you’ve felt connected or disconnected
But there is no required preparation.
What if one or both of us feel nervous?
It’s completely normal. Counselling is a new experience for many couples. The space is designed to feel warm, non-judgmental and supportive, allowing you to move at a pace that feels comfortable.
How do we get started?
You can book a session directly through the website. If you're unsure whether couples counselling is right for you, you’re welcome to reach out with questions or request an initial conversation.